One of the habits I have is a tendency to beat myself when I fall short of my own expectations. I dwell on it and brood on it and can get quite down.
However I was thinking the other day about the eightfold path, and the words of my Tai Chi teacher came to mind, “What I don’t say is as important as what I say”. He was talking about us limiting ourselves during practice to imagine “rules” when he hadn’t set any. This is a vitally important point, many times we limit ourselves through imagined limitations, without stopping and thinking about where these limitations come from.
So, coming back to the eightfold path, we take it as a set of guides to our relationship with the world. But nobody ever said it was one way, we are as much a part of the world as anything else, so by necessity we must apply the principles to ourselves. I take this to mean not browbeating ourselves overly, remembering moderation and not denying ourselves things just to be “spiritual”. Remember to be gentle with yourself, don’t cling to failures (real or imagined), if you’re clinging to the pains in your head, how can you truly be alive in the moment?
Lewis says:
Oh Richard, how well you have given shape to my own feelings and habits too. I am quite moved by your title there, a deep part of me found recognition with that need. I have a tendency to control myself quite strongly, punishing myself just as harshly when I am unable to live up to the ideals I set for myself. And you’re right. Who says I have to live up to those ideals at all? Where did they come from? We can use inquiry to discover these things, like old Buddha said - great doubt, great faith..
I find it very intriguing there, that use of imagined rules. It’s a great insight.
So, I guess then, if we’re still afraid to take the leash off, at the least we could treat ourselves like a kite being held by a string, rather than a dog with a choke-chain. Mmm, that’s good imagery, I like that.
14 May 2007, 10:11 amAngela says:
Looks great here, Richard, nice work!! It’s fun playing with all the fun toys at Wordpress, I’ve sure learned a lot. Still enjoying your posts. Aloha!
15 May 2007, 9:09 amRichard says:
Thanks both of you, part of what inspired this post was me backing my car into a van on Friday night. I spent part of Saturday kicking myself, then thought “Whose benefit am I doing this for, really?”
Hmm, thinking cap time again…..
15 May 2007, 9:17 pm